Saturday, May 28, 2011

my patented timer shot

ive been travelling "alone" through the middle east for close to a month, but it wasnt until today, exploring the ruins of Jerash alone, that i really actually felt, well.... alone, for the first time in ages. i have met so many awesome people on this trip, and have had constant companionship, for falafels, sheesha, shopping...everything. which has been really really nice. i dont think i would have had nearly as much fun if i hadnt been open to other people.

but today, watching lizards slither along the hot ancient roman stones, and falcons circling the puffy post-rain sky, at a moment when there wasnt a single other tourist in sight, just me and the Jordanian was also really really nice to have that experience alone.

i need a balance of emptiness and clutter -usually erring more on the cluttered side, while traveling or at home.

i also thought of something, in my wandering alone today, watching these skittish little lizards running to and fro and trying to avoid people, falling rocks and those mean falcons: survival of the fittest isnt about being the strongest or biggest, its about being the most adaptable. finding a way to make a situation okay.

i honestly feel like my greatest strength is my adaptability, and that made me feel pretty good about my life, even if at age 29 i am currently jobless, homeless, single, and somehow or another have found myself in Amman, Jordan with a backpack full of dirty clothes and not much else going on. i have no rigid plans and no specific way of doing anything, and dont really know WHAT im doing here to be honest.. but that is okay. i can be best friends with someone after one conversation. i can enjoy a week in the desert or a day at the mall equally, and i guess im sort of proud of that. i dont think most girls i know, back home, could handle just how crazy it is to travel in this part of the world (really travel, not staying at resorts and things, but real gritty gross squat toilet style travel, eating 30 cent kebabs on a polluted street while men yell "oh my god sexy SEXY lady" from every single direction, and cars honk non-stop)...and i think the only reason i havent lost my mind is because of that adaptability.

anyways, what was i talking about here? sounding self righteous? i dont know. sorry if thats how it came across haha. tired and have ate way too many Jordanian pastries (amazing syrupy things with cheese and pistachios and butter and ohmygod yes). that is the real truth. i dont know what the hell im talking about here. but i had a good day.

goodnight from Jordan.

No comments:

Post a Comment